I propose that when we teach and coach the human skill of integrity, we must also add the words empathy, compassion, and understanding. As a result, the definition of integrity can be simplified to: Integrity: Compassionately doing the right thing.

My goal with this muse is to gently, but purposefully change the arc of the conversation in corporate circles around the concept of empathy and empathetic leadership. In my opinion, empathy is great, but it lacks two essential ingredients—the willingness/ability to help, and the ability to detach. Compassion represents a logical extension of empathy as it combines the ability to recognize someone else’s feelings and the motivation to help them do something about it. This addition of the motivation to help requires an ability to separate or detach oneself from the challenge the other person is experiencing. Without this ability to mentally detach, their challenge or pain becomes yours and carrying around that emotional burden will ultimately lead to your own exhaustion and burnout. Yes, it’s awesome that you feel another’s pain and want to help alleviate it, but if it’s at the expense of your own well-being, what’s the point?

Put as simply as possible, this is empathy—the willingness and ability to take oneself out of their own view of a situation and to ask how the other party feels about it. So if you’re looking for a quick tip on how to improve your empathy skills, use this simple question: “I wonder how ___ feels about x?”