Integrity and Compassion

I’m Andy Temte and welcome to the Saturday Morning Muse! Start to your weekend with me by exploring topics that span leadership, business management, education, and other musings designed to support your journey of personal and professional continuous improvement.

On a recent spring afternoon, I was driving along a rural road in western Wisconsin and found myself following behind a large pickup truck with a modified exhaust system. The modifications were designed to be menacing, making the engine roar with even the slightest touch of the gas pedal. Each time the engine roared, a large puff of choking black smoke was ejected from the tailpipe. So cool and manly. Not.

A bicyclist was riding just ahead of me, all decked out in lycra riding apparel, minding their own business. As the pickup passed the cyclist, the driver “stepped on it,” creating a cacophony of sound that would have startled even the most experienced rider and a sea of choking, black exhaust that enveloped the rider. From my vantage point, there was no reason for the driver of the pickup to accelerate at that precise moment, other than to make a point to the bicyclist that they were not welcome in sharing the road with motor vehicles. I wish I was wrong in my assessment, but the intent of the move was obvious.

As a cyclist, I see this behavior on display far too often. A few years ago, a dear friend of mine was driven off the road by an aggressive driver who wanted to “make a point” by encroaching on the space my friend was occupying as he rode along on the white line that demarcates the rightmost edge of the traffic lane. My friend nearly died that day. I’ve personally experienced this behavior, but have been fortunate not to have been injured.

The purpose of this story is to illustrate that integrity is in short supply and that integrity is a human skill that we must nurture and grow in current and future generations—both at home and in the workplace. At the office, you’ve probably seen a lack of integrity evidence itself in the form of bullying, intentional project sabotage, passive aggressiveness, and all manner of microaggressions.

What Does Integrity Mean?

Cambridge defines integrity as “the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles that you refuse to change.” Oxford Dictionaries defines integrity as “the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness.”

Synonyms for integrity include: principle, character, honor, upright, virtue, sincerity, honesty.

From my perspective, the individual behind the wheel of the massive pickup truck was not exhibiting integrity because anyone who is following a strong set of ethical principles and exhibits strong character would not put someone else’s well-being at risk.

Or would they?

It is entirely possible that the individual behind the wheel of the pickup truck could believe that they were acting with integrity because they were adhering to a personal moral code that says “roads are for motorized vehicles only and bicyclists are a hazard that must be eradicated.” The driver may have been acting on a set of beliefs that they believe to be righteous. If you just cringed at the thought of this type of behavior aligning with the concept of integrity, I feel your pain, but there are definitely people who truly believe that roads are designed for motorized vehicles only and that they’re doing a public service by ridding the roads of other forms of transportation.

If we extend this argument to other areas of social and political discourse, examples abound of humans who justify their actions based upon narrowly defined moral and ethical codes by explicitly or implicitly dehumanizing a population that they don’t agree with. In our example above, the driver of the pickup likely viewed the bicycle as an object that he should not have to share the road with. He necessarily dehumanized the rider to the status of an object that is to be eliminated through intimidation. 

An Expansion of the Definition

I’ve been contemplating what integrity means and how I demonstrate integrity in my interactions with other human beings of myriad backgrounds and cultures. I’m concerned that our highly polarized political environment is creating extreme and divergent moral and ethical codes that lead to the dehumanization of populations that don’t directly align with the tribe we associate with. When populations are dehumanized, individuals can more easily convince themselves that bad behaviors are justified and that they’re “acting with integrity.”

Therefore, I propose that when we teach and coach the human skill of integrity, we must also add the words empathy, compassion, and understanding. As a result, the definition of integrity can be simplified to:

Integrity: Compassionately doing the right thing.

A great litmus test to keep in the back of your mind when thinking about integrity is this. If you’ve just done something or are contemplating doing something, can you tell your grandmother or mentor about the thing you did? If the thought of telling grandma about a deed that you’ve done puts a pit in your stomach or gives you pause, it’s probably not the right thing. 

Now imagine the driver of the pickup going over to grandma’s apartment and saying: “Hey, guess what I did today? I scared the crap out of a cyclist and blew a huge black cloud of toxic smoke in their face! Awesome, huh?” Assuming grandma fits the stereotype of the standard, garden variety empath with a strong moral and ethical compass honed over decades, she would likely be horrified by the driver’s story.

Conclusion and Some Homework

What does integrity mean to you? I recommend dedicating some time for introspection and self-reflection on what integrity means to you and how you demonstrate integrity through your words and deeds. Most importantly, give some thought to how you can make a difference by talking about integrity within your sphere of influence. 

Here’s some homework. At your next team meeting, engage in a roundtable discussion of what integrity means to you, your team members, and the organization at large. Ask for examples of what integrity looks like at work. Ask team members what they think about the relationship between integrity and compassion—as a reminder, please see my previous muse on The Case for Compassionate Leadership for the definition of compassion. Show vulnerability by sharing your own views and by actively listening to what others are saying. In my book, Balancing Act, I share a number of stories that I’m not particularly proud of with the intent of showing constructive vulnerability that can be used as a teaching tool.

Many companies list ‘integrity’ in their corporate values statements, but have you, as a leader, defined what this means for your people? Don’t just list your values. Define them and routinely discuss their application both inside and outside the organization.

We all have an obligation to teach, coach, and mentor—especially as we age. Let’s make some time to move the needle toward a more healthy, inclusive society by having active conversations about integrity and compassion.

Thanks for listening.