The Lessons We Teach Our Children

It was a magic show. A magic show presented during a global pandemic that has killed millions around the world and nearly 800,000 in the United States as of early December, 2021. To help keep everyone safe from the virus and allow the “show to go on,” the organizers instituted a very simple attendance criteria that everyone wear a face covering to limit the spread of nasty airborne particles that contain infectious disease.

The attendees to this event were mainly families. Parents and their children waited in anticipation outside the venue and the signs were everywhere: “Masks required for attendance.” For those that neglected to come prepared with their own masks, the organizers happily supplied one upon entry to the theatre.

Audience members dutifully installed their masks and found their seats as they listened to persistent announcements over the public address system that wearing a face covering was mandatory during the entire event - even while seated. This announcement was made in multiple languages to ensure everyone got the message.

The emcee took the stage to great fanfare and the crowd was buzzing. Everyone was looking forward to an evening of magical entertainment. This was likely the first time in many months some attendees had ventured out of their cocoons to enjoy live entertainment in the company of other humans.

During her opening remarks, the emcee made several additional announcements that face coverings were a requirement of attendance, and while the lights were still up, everyone was in compliance - masks on, ready to escape for the next 50 minutes.

Then, it was showtime. The lights went down, the magician and his assistant took the stage… And then the masks started to come off.

Wait, what?

We were seated in the middle of the auditorium and there was a lovely family positioned in front of us to our right. When the lights were on, mom wore a mask, dad wore a mask, and both children had theirs on. When the lights went down, dad was the first to take his off, followed by his spouse. 

The children kept theirs on. They had been listening and watching the whole time - the signs outside and myriad public announcements told them they had to keep them on. But dad took his off and mom followed suit, so which of these conflicting messages did they follow? Should they keep their masks on, or follow dad’s lead? I could see them looking at other attendees for signals about what to do, but after a few minutes, the kids removed their masks too.

Ugh.

As the performance progressed, a great anger began to well up inside me. This anger had two root causes.

Initially, I was upset at the thought of the parents removing their masks and potentially putting me, my family, and the rest of the attendees at risk. When dad took his mask off, he may as well have gotten up out of his chair, extended his arm, thrust his middle finger in the air, twirled in a circle on one toe and shouted: “I don’t give a f@$& about you, I don’t care about rules or organized society, and I’m the only one here that matters!”

After the initial outrage had subsided and my mind cleared a bit, the second root cause - a much more insidious and dangerous root cause - became clear. I thought, “what was the lesson he was teaching his children?”

From my vantage point, the children were clearly conflicted about whether to follow the rules or not. “Why did dad take his mask off and thumb his nose to the entire assembly? If dad did it and mom followed suit, should I do the same?” I have to imagine that some version of these questions was either consciously or subconsciously swirling in their minds. At the end of the day, who are the children going to listen to? A plethora of signs and the blaring emcee, or their parents?

It’s going to be the parents.

And what lesson are these parents teaching? That rules don’t matter. That rules only apply when you want them to.

I’m absolutely furious at the parents in this story and the millions more like them around the country and around the world who are teaching their children that rules are made for other people to follow or when it happens to be convenient. I’m angry because I grew up believing that our society would stand firmly on rules and laws. Yes, there are criminals and people who lose their way, but the guardrails of rules and societal structure would keep us in check at a macro level.

Our legal, governmental, education, financial, healthcare, and transportation systems depend on rules and order. The value of your home and 401k depend on rules and order. Effectively, the lesson we’re teaching our children is that “personal freedom is all” and that liberty and societal order are secondary considerations.

Our Pledge of Allegiance says “...liberty and justice for all.” It doesn’t say “freedom for all.” I encourage you to learn more about the word “liberty.” From Wikipedia: “Thus liberty entails the responsible use of freedom under the rule of law without depriving anyone else of their freedom.”

So instead of shouting “freedom, freedom, freedom” and teaching our children childish, passive aggressive acts like removing a mask after the lights go down, let’s set and example and teach our children about the concept of liberty and the balance that must exist between freedom and our duty to society and the rule of law.

But first, it appears we have to teach millions of adults the concept first. If personal freedom is all that matters, our society will devolve into chaos.