Gratitude

Earlier in my career, I struggled with perspective. My mind was clouded by the single mindedness and determination I applied to the growth of our business ventures. There was always another hill to climb—the ascension to one peak led to another, and another... 

My underlying motivation was to provide for my family and to reach a place of economic and emotional security. However, this noble motivation was also accompanied by a relatively weak, underdeveloped ego that had a difficult time mediating between my base desires for attention and fame (my id), and my perceptions of what society was expecting of me (my superego). The result of these tugs-of-war was that personal satisfaction and contentment were in short supply. I was not at peace with myself and a host of unproductive behaviors evidenced themselves along the way.

As time passed, the momentum of my business successes, the desire to achieve more, and my inability to find inner peace and balance meant that I was headed for a fall. For those who have read my book, Balancing Act, I indeed fell hard in my early 40s and nearly ruined the very thing that I was so motivated to achieve and protect—the emotional and economic strength of our family unit.

Over the next few years, my then (and current) spouse, Linda, and I worked hard to repair what I had broken. At first, I was resistant to change and adopted a blaming mindset. Surely my issues were someone else’s doing. Boy was I wrong. While there are always two sides to every story, as I was pointing a finger at the outside world, I didn’t realize that the other three were pointed right back toward me.

Time, persistence, and a deep, unshakable love for Linda and our boys led us to the professional help that awoke my mind to the benefits of striving for balance and personal continuous improvement. It was along that difficult, but ultimately rewarding journey that I was introduced to the human emotion of gratitude.

Gratitude and Philanthropy

Oxford Dictionaries defines gratitude as: the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.

For me, being purposeful and focusing my mind on something that I’m thankful for makes room in my mind and heart for the emotion of gratitude to take over. Although I was dismissive of the benefits of feeling gratitude earlier in my life, I’ve come to learn that this human emotion is very powerful and can crowd out negative behaviors and emotions of selfishness, self centeredness, sadness, loneliness, and jealousy, just to name a few. 

As I actively practiced bringing gratitude to the forefront of my mind (and it does take practice), I realized a deep connection exists between gratitude and philanthropy. It turns out that giving back to the community with no expectation of personal return—beyond the joy of seeing the positive impact that a philanthropic agency has on society and individual lives—is the most reliable path to surface feelings of gratitude.

My advice to anyone who is feeling empty and unfulfilled is to engage in the practice of philanthropy. Pick a cause that aligns with your personal purpose and start giving. The size of your gifts is not important and neither is the form they take. In fact, I would argue that your time is just as valuable—and in some cases more valuable—than money. The trick is to start giving of yourself and be consistent so that giving becomes part of who you are.

The practice of giving will create a deep well of experiences that you’ll be able to tap into to bring the emotion of gratitude into the foreground. When you’re grateful, the emotions of anger, resentment, and jealousy have less room to cloud your mind. Perspective and balance become easier to achieve and maintain. The path back to balance after unexpected shocks and change events also becomes more straightforward.

Enter “New Man”

In several weeks, my band, The Remainders, will release our third single. The song is entitled New Man and celebrates the benefits of using gratitude as a tool to support an agile, growth mindset. Today, I’d like to share with you the lyrics to the song before its release at the end of July. You can find our music on Spotify and other streaming platforms.

New Man (Copyright 2022, Music by Andrew Temte and Nicholas Temte, Lyrics by Andrew Temte, Performed by The Remainders and Nicholas Temte)

First Verse:

When I was a young man, the hills were callin’ and I had to keep climbin’

When I was a young man, the mountains were steep but I had to keep grindin’

When I was a young man, the merry-go-round made it oh so hard to...

Chorus:

Make the time, I’ve got to, read the signs...

Take the time, wake my mind, to feel gratitude today

Second Verse:

When I was a young man, the road was long and I had to keep pushin’

When I was a young man, the path grew dark and I lost my direction

When I was a young man, it all went wrong and I couldn’t slow down to...

Chorus:

Make the time, I’ve got to, read the signs

Take the time, wake my mind, to feel gratitude today

Guitar Solo

Third Verse:

Now I am a new man, I know the road is long and I’ve gotta keep ridin’

Yes I am a new man, I’ll find the peace of mind and the space in my heart to…

Chorus:

Make the time, I’ve got to, read the signs

Take the time, wake my mind; take the time, wake my mind; take the time, wake my mind

To feel gratitude today.

Conclusion and an Update

Thanks for listening. I hope you find value in exploring how being purposeful and practicing tapping into feelings of gratitude can help improve attitude, mood, balance, and personal well-being.

There are so many stressors in the world today—extreme partisanship, the economy, war, and the pandemic—that it’s easy to let anger and frustration take control. The best way to shift gears and alter your perspective is to allow gratitude in to crowd those negative emotions out.

So here’s the update. It’s the 4th of July Weekend and there’s no better time to provide an update to my Muse of February 12, 2022. That Muse, entitled Silence is Complicity, condemned the January 6, 2021 insurrection at the US Capitol and provided a glimpse into my own political leanings. I’ve expanded that work to include my stance on guns and abortion based on the horrific mass shootings that have occurred since then, as well as the Supreme Court’s Dodd decision.

Grace. Dignity. Compassion.

Andy 

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For further reading, here’s a great article on the benefits of focusing on gratitude.