Peace…

I grew up in the Presbyterian Church on the corner of Cass Street and West Avenue in La Crosse, Wisconsin. When I say I grew up there, I mean it in the literal sense. My mother was the church organist and my father was involved in various committees. We all sang in the choir. My sisters and I knew every square inch of the facility—we explored nooks and crannies while mom practiced on the giant 29 rank Casavant organ that was installed when I was 9. I could go on, recounting tales from our outings, but the point is that I was in church often.

Today, I have a complicated relationship with organized religion, but there is one ritual from my experience at church in my youth that strikes me as being more important today than at any other time in my life. After the sermon, the congregation would stand and we were asked to greet the parishioners around us with the phrase “peace be with you,” which was often shortened to simply, “peace.”

As a minor—especially in my tween and early teenage years, this ritual was extremely uncomfortable to exercise. As an introverted, shy young human, reaching out my hand to a total stranger, looking them in the eye, and wishing them “peace” was not something that came naturally. However, I frequently felt a bit lighter and uplifted as the fear of engaging with the unknown quickly transitioned to a sense of belonging and community. More times than not, I would end the ritual thinking to myself: “That old man who I’ve been scared to death of this whole time is actually quite sweet and approachable!” Over time, fear and trepidation turned into comfort and a sense that total strangers did indeed wish me peace.

Now let’s fast forward to the present. We live in a hyper-polarized world in which retreating to the comfort of narrow tribes who look, talk, and think alike takes precedence over reaching out across the aisle, or over the proverbial church pew, to wish someone who comes from a different background or culture “peace.”

We make assumptions—oftentimes erroneous—about the people we encounter and end up placing labels on them. Those labels define how much we will listen and accept what the other person has to say. Our unconscious biases take over and the predetermined narrative associated with the label we’ve chosen for a new acquaintance puts an impenetrable fog around any constructive dialog and discovery that might otherwise take place.

Today’s echo chambers are akin to the same fuzzy blanket of avoidance I yearned for when it came time to stand up and stick my hand out to a stranger all those years ago.

As we careen toward the turn of the calendar and another presidential general election season, the lesson today is this. When you meet someone new, rekindle an old friendship, or interact with acquaintances outside of your personally curated tribe, allow your ears and mind to open. Become aware of unconscious biases that lurk under the surface by engaging in self-reflection and meditation. Challenge yourself to be agile and accepting. Avoid labeling and compartmentalizing. Most importantly, ask yourself if your reaction to a new acquaintance is based on the response that our hyper-polarized society expects you to have, or are you willing to learn and grow your thinking and your network beyond the confines of a fixed mindset to an issue, people, or culture.

Let’s use 2024 as an opportunity to bring the temperature down and engage in rational, constructive discourse. Economies grow and flourish in times of peace. Conflict and war bring misery and destruction. I choose the former and not the latter.

Peace be with you…