The Expectations Trap, Part II
What do successful entrepreneurs, CEOs, project leaders, and small business owners all have in common? They possess extraordinary passion, drive, care, and commitment for their products, customers, and organizations.
What do these same professionals also share? A wish, hope, or desire that their colleagues exhibit the same passion, drive, care, and commitment to their products, customers, and organizations.
In my Muse from December 9, 2023, I introduced the concept of the expectations trap where leaders try, in vain, to mold others in their image, force uniformity of thought, and encourage performance levels that match their own. Today, I’d like to continue that discussion and offer advice for leaders who find themselves frustrated by the natural misalignment in engagement levels of team members that exist across any organization. As a reminder, everyone is different, everyone navigates through change differently, and at any given moment, each of your colleagues is likely going through something—personally or professionally—that you don’t know about that’s affecting disposition and performance.
I’ve learned through the years that a sure-fire way to increase disengagement in an organization is to direct, control, and demand that the work effort and results team members generate meets or exceeds what the leader believes they can do themselves. If, as a manager, you want to ensure that a team doesn’t thrive and its potential is limited, then by all means, take the tack of a “firefighter,” “enabler,” or “boss.” An oft-used phrase by this class of managers is “just let me do it.” When things go sideways or the manager believes that work product isn’t up to snuff, they jump in and take over. The rationales I’ve seen applied to this line of thinking is that the manager is “making things easier for everyone,” or “we don’t have time to slow down.”
This urge to do it yourself is one that comes naturally—at least for some of us. Remember class projects in high school and college? Were you the Type A high achiever that jumped in when deadlines approached and “took over” to prevent a failing grade or substandard outcome? I played this role many times in college and look back on my behavior with a cringe. I had convinced myself that I was helping, but in reality, I was being selfish and unhelpful to my classmates. Was I helping them learn and grow? No. Instead, my behavior was likely pushing people away from me and sending a passive-aggressive signal that I didn’t believe in them, or value their opinions and capabilities. In my former classmate’s minds, if they were reminded of me today, I’m probably still labeled as a know-it-all and that jerk who just took over.
Was I pushing my own boundaries and growing as an individual and future leader? The answer here is no as well. I was being expedient by chasing a grade through the path of least resistance by doing the work myself. Did I learn anything about how to collaborate with others, determine individual strengths and weaknesses, and leverage the value of diverse opinions and skills? No. I thought I was being a leader and was doing everyone else a favor by jumping in and taking over, but I was instead simultaneously calcifying a fixed-mindset management persona within myself and alienating and hurting my classmates.
So the lesson today is this. One of the most difficult balancing acts that leaders play in business is balancing their personal drive, capabilities, and desire for rapid results and success with the need to work well with others, build them up, invest in them, listen, and collaborate to derive the massive benefits that come from the diversity of thought, opinion, and competencies. There’s an old African proverb that sums up this point succinctly. If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.
What kind of leader do you want to be?
