Acts of Kindness at Work
In today’s video Muse, I expand on last week’s episode in which we teased apart the differences between being nice and being kind. As a reminder, one of the greatest kindnesses within the work world is that of providing constructive feedback. When we push on each other in a non-threatening way with the intent to understand and make the business better, great things happen. When we politely smile, nod, and spread niceties around like peanut butter, nothing changes and complacency becomes the norm.
Two additional “great kindnesses” at work are active listening and transparency.
Active listening: What do your people want more than anything? Yes, they might desire more money, but your team members just want to be heard. They want to know that their opinion matters and that leadership is listening. Active listening is hard—it takes focus and energy. It takes conscious effort to bat away the ten other things that conspire to distract you and to suppress the desire to jump in with a “ya but…” When you are actively listening, you’re giving of yourself in a way that shows your people that you care.
Transparency: In many organizations, information and data are guarded like state secrets. Teams don’t share goals and the news that emanates from a department has typically been filtered for the good news only—departmental challenges and weaknesses are buried from view. It takes courage to be the leader who openly shares the good, bad, and ugly. Promoting transparency by sharing goals, data, and results sends a strong signal that the health of the organization as a whole matters more than the success of your fiefdom.
One final thought. I remember being coached as a child: “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” It’s my opinion that the intent of the phrase is to avoid being mean to others, but the unintended consequences have been that a generation was taught to avoid constructive conflict and feedback. Yes, sometimes it’s important to protect oneself and be nice for the sake of short-term harmony. However, in the long-term, healthy work relationships and cultures depend on routinely exercising the kindnesses of constructive feedback, active listening, and transparency.
Remember that a kindness is focused on others and not the self. With kindness, there is no expectation of a personal return or reward. If you’re giving something to someone else with the expectation of a return, that’s called a transaction.
