Striving to Be a Net Giver
Giving versus taking. This is one of, if not the, most important balancing acts we play throughout our lives. We come into this world naked and completely dependent on our parents and caregivers. Throughout our youth, we are, by definition, net takers. As we age, we build and refine a portfolio knowledge, skills, abilities, and attitudes (a.k.a., competency) with the goal of providing for ourselves, our families, and contributing to our employers and communities.
During the journey of life, we experience many ups, downs, and loopbacks. Life is anything but a straight line. There are periods during adulthood when we must also be net takers. These are times of disruption when the unexpected throws us off our axis and we are forced to lean on others for support. Examples include the death of a loved one, divorce, victimhood of crime, illness, and personal injury.
To improve resilience and the ability to return to a state of productivity and giving, we can proactively invest in education and skill development throughout our lives. This is why being a lifelong learner is so incredibly important. With a strong portfolio of human and technical skills, the ups can be higher, the downs are muted, and loopbacks are shorter in duration. A strong competency portfolio is also more durable through time—especially if it’s continually maintained and grown. Personal resilience and competency durability are critical because they allow us to have longer stints of net giving throughout our lives, increasing the probability that we conclude our time on this pale blue dot as a “net giver.”
While the choice of technical skill path is yours, I can provide universal advice on the human skills that are necessary to become a net giver:
Empathy and Compassion: Empathy is defined as the ability to share someone else's feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in that person's situation (Cambridge). Compassion is even more powerful and is defined as empathy plus a willingness to do something about another’s challenges. If you can’t vicariously put yourself in someone else’s shoes, how can we effectively give back?
Self-Awareness: Self-awareness is defined as the ability to see oneself clearly and objectively through introspection and reflection. If we can’t envision who we are as a contributing member of society, how can we possibly help others grow and learn?
Collaboration and Teamwork: Yes, it’s a nauseating statement, but teamwork does really make the dream work. If we all operate as lone wolves, focused on our self-interests, or only the interests of a small, like-minded group, then becoming a net giver is not possible.
Courage and Vulnerability: I place these two skills together, because they are, in my opinion, two sides of the same coin. It takes courage to put yourself out there—to consciously decide to give back, dive in, and make a difference. What if I make a mistake? What if I’m not ready to step up? This is where constructive vulnerability comes in. People need to see that you’re human. That you can recognize and learn from mistakes—that you don’t have all the answers, but if we work together, we can make a difference.
You might be asking, what does this have to do with business? The answer is that organizational health relies heavily on the net giver status of the employee population. If everyone is operating as a net taker, then team dynamics will suffer, fiefdoms will be built, and everyone will be looking over their shoulder for the next jab in the back. Trust cannot flourish in a net taker environment. In contrast, if you foster a culture of net giving, then alignment around goals becomes easier, teamwork and collaboration become the norm, and the success of the organization becomes a shared mindset.
To be blunt, we will not only survive, but thrive as a species if more of us become net givers. If we focus on ourselves and take more than we give, our pale blue dot will ultimately be transformed into a brown wasteland. I recently had a health scare in my family that reminded me that to “win at the game of life,” we must on balance give more than we take.
Oh, and money is not the answer. You can’t take, take, take and then throw money around to assuage guilt. I’m talking about being a net giver of yourself and your talents to build a better tomorrow for everyone.
