Purpose & Posture
The popular press is filled with “how to” guides on personal and professional fulfillment as well as tons of click bait on fad diets, how to get in shape, and develop washboard abs. Yes, it can be fun to vicariously live through others and dream of personal transformation, but those same dreams can be soul-crushing when we slide back into old habits and self-destructive behaviors and patterns that hold us back from making real progress.
So how can we make meaningful change in our lives that will stick and not fall prey to the shiny ball syndrome or the flavor-of-the-month yo-yo? Today, I’d like to offer three basic steps to long-term personal growth and fulfillment.
Step One: Stop thinking about the concept of transformation. Butterflies magically emerge from their cocoon as fully-formed, beautiful insects, but the same concept of instant or short-term transformation rarely applies to humans. Change is hard, learning and growth take time. Imagining that we can go on a one week retreat and emerge as a different, better version of ourselves is a painful fallacy for the vast majority of us. Instead, we are all works-in-progress and should embrace the concept of continuous improvement—making small, but meaningful changes in service of a set of long-term objectives. By adopting a continuous improvement mindset, we can avoid the distractions of the shiny balls that flit in and out of view in favor of small augmentations to our current state of being that are much more likely to stick with us. Future growth must stand of a strong foundation—trying to develop new physical or mental capabilities via short-term transformation typically lead to injury and/or disappointment. Biting off more than your can chew just leads to indigestion.
Step Two: Build a personal plan that is centered around your purpose. Understanding why we exist is a simple concept but one that many of us have put very little, if any, thought into. My purpose is to teach, coach, mentor, and hopefully inspire a few folks along the way. If I asked what your purpose is, would it roll off the tongue, or would you have to stop and think? In step one, the shiny balls of distraction will prevail if personal purpose is unknown. The foundation for personal growth in step one should be built around your purpose. All things lasting and meaningful start with purpose. If you don’t have a personal plan or are unsure of your purpose, I’ve developed a Personal Planning Guidebook to help.
Step Three: This may sound corny or overly simplistic, but stand up straight. Good posture is an amazing tool that will help you in myriad settings, from the boardroom, to interpersonal relationships, to your relationship with yourself. Want to feel beautiful? Stand tall. Want to feel worthy? Stand tall. Want to be seen? Stand tall. Want to exude confidence? Stand tall. Want to be respected (both by the self and others)? Stand tall. Chest out, abs engaged, eyes forward, alert, chin up. Most importantly, do this when you walk into a room with colleagues and when no one is watching. Make good posture a habit.
Good posture is both a physical construct and a mental state of being. Good posture is a way of living. Truthfulness, community service, self-confidence, self-awareness, situational awareness, emotional intelligence, and many other positive attributes are wrapped into the concept of good posture. Good posture signals to everyone around you that “I’m here, I’m ready to contribute, and I care.” When honed over time, good posture is the optimal balancing act between service to the self and service to others, but good posture starts with literally straightening the spine, brightening the eyes, and letting go of all the baggage you’re carrying around that doesn’t align with your purpose or your goals.
So what’s the lesson? Nothing is free, very little of meaning and value is gained instantaneously. Even if you win the lottery, there’s hard work involved. Knowing your purpose, standing tall (literally and metaphorically), and continuously iterating and improving toward long-term goals is the path toward meaningful, positive change.
