Remember, self-reflection is about you and your continuous improvement journey. If you find yourself focusing on others, pointing fingers, or wallowing in self-regret, you’re not engaged in self-reflection. That’s a pity party. Nobody likes to receive an invite to a pity party!

Unfortunately, there are all manner of societal pressures that make self-reflection difficult. Some label it as “fluff” or “weakness.” Some surround themselves with so many external voices and stimulation that the concept of self-reflection is foreign and uncomfortable. I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve succumbed to the narrative that “tough guys don’t reflect.” I’ll also be the first to admit that becoming more in tune with yourself through meditation and reflection is one of the best things you can do for yourself.

So let’s say that you wake up one day and say: “Living without intention is no fun. I thought that living a care-free, happy-go-lucky life would be the way to go, but here I am, stuck in a dead-end job with no idea what comes next.” This is a great step forward, but to move from where you are to living with intention requires some work. It’s not possible to live without intention one day and begin living with it the next. So what are the necessary conditions for living with intent?

The reason I wasn’t surprised by their response is that I’ve become accustomed to marketers and business owners who ask for feedback, but then completely ignore it—opting instead for canned, automated responses. Remember the Seinfeld episode where they “take the reservation, they just don’t hold the reservation?” That’s how this makes me feel as a consumer. I find this behavior astonishing because why ask for feedback if you’re not going to do anything with it. Nothing says “I could care less about my customer” more than asking for feedback and then ignoring it.

Put as simply as possible, this is empathy—the willingness and ability to take oneself out of their own view of a situation and to ask how the other party feels about it. So if you’re looking for a quick tip on how to improve your empathy skills, use this simple question: “I wonder how ___ feels about x?”

You might be asking, what does this have to do with business? The answer is that organizational health relies heavily on the net giver status of the employee population. If everyone is operating as a net taker, then team dynamics will suffer, fiefdoms will be built, and everyone will be looking over their shoulder for the next jab in the back. Trust cannot flourish in a net taker environment. In contrast, if you foster a culture of net giving, then alignment around goals becomes easier, teamwork and collaboration become the norm, and the success of the organization becomes a shared mindset.